Stair-mom

Some where along the line, the prefix "step" became a bit derogatory. I'm not sure how that happened. Maybe it was the Wicked Step-mother from Cinderella. But here, in the 21st century, there are so many mixed families that almost every one has some sort of step-someone. So why does it sound wrong to refer to people as a step-parent or sibling? I was talking about this with my own step-dad a while ago, and he decided that he didn't want to call me his "step-daughter" but instead he would call me his "stair-daughter."

And so that's what I am too, a "stair-mom." Maybe I'm in denial of the truth.

A quick little story:

One day, I picked Scooby up from school, he climbed in the car and we did our usual "how was your day" routine. Then he asks me, "Are you my real mom?"
I'm not stupid. I know exactly what he is asking me but I have some rather big opinions on what a REAL mom is. I know he was asking if I birthed him. I didn't, but I did just about everything else and have had a massive part in raising him thus far. In fact, I dare say a larger part than his so called, "real mom" did. So I reply, "Well, you weren't in my tummy and I didn't give birth to you," then I add with a possibly over the top bright tone, "but you have two moms... isn't that wonderful?! You are so lucky!"
He gets this puzzled look on his face and asks me again."Yeah, but are you my REAL mom?"
What could I do here. He is a smart boy and has always fingered out the difference between her and me in his own way that makes sense to him. By this point in our conversation, I'm getting a bit frustrated that this feels so complicated. I guess what frustrates me is that I don't feel I can answer the question with a simple yes or no because in so many ways I feel like his REAL mom. So I say again, just like before, "You weren't in my tummy and I didn't give birth to you, but you have two moms... isn't that wonderful?! You are so lucky!"
Maybe the look on his face was just him being sick of my super cheesey tone but I interpret it as the wheels in his head turning and I know that he will have this jumbled mess of titles all figured out in no time.

By the way he did figure it out. I'm not sure exactly when it all came together for him, but it did. So I tell my self that makes it a happy ending.

The point is, does it really matter if these poor little guys that are stuck in the middle of parents and step-parents understand perfectly who is their birth parent and who married into being their parent? I say no.  They figure it out eventually. How lucky are they that they have so many people that are concerned about their well being and happiness. Even though I would never go to the mall with Scooby's other mom for a girl's afternoon, I can appreciate that she loves him and wants good things for him and I hope she can say the same about me.

Hats off to all the moms

When I was a little girl, all I wanted was to be a mom. In fact, I used to sing this silly song about having 15 babies and feeding them cake and cookies and giving the yellow balloons. I remember LOVING this song. I had all sorts of baby dolls and stuffed animals that I would play with for hours. All I ever wanted to do was to hurry and get married and have a flock of kiddos. When I was a senior in high school the big question started to pop up every where I went, "What are you going to do after you graduate?" In reality, now looking back, deep down I knew what I wanted to do, I wanted to get married and start having babies. But luckily, that's not what happened. It took me a couple years to find my "prince charming." During that time I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted in life. But one thing remained, that uncontrollable desire to multiply.

And so here I am now, I'm 28 and have three gorgeous children. I love being a mom even though it is way harder than I thought it would be. I am so grateful that I'm able to stay home with my babies to see them grow and learn. I love my kids even more than I used to imagine I would when I was little. They are my world just the way I thought it would be. And, MAN I appreciate my mom so much more now! So I want to take just a minute and take my hat off to all the moms out there. Being a mom is hard. Don't beat yourself up when things don't go the way you thought they would. Tomorrow's another day,  and when you kiss your precious angels at night when you put them in bed, just do what I do and be proud of the fact that you didn't strangle any one today and have a couple Thin Mints to reward yourself.