Step-Mother's day

Mother's Day can be a super exciting time for a mama. Your kiddos bring home hand made gifts from school and church. Husbands tend to get really sweet and if they don't, it's sure easy to say, " but honey, it's mother's day..." A little guilt can go a long way. The weather is getting warmer so there are usually barbeques and time spent with family and people you love the most. Flowers and baby animals everywhere. One of my favorite things, the kids singing at church! I love it and struggle not to cry every year. I love mother's day.

BUT... and this is a big but (hence the capital letters), having a child that needs to spend the time with another mom can be frustrating. I'm sure it's frustrating for the other mom too. The difference is, legally, biological mamas have a claim to the time. At least that's our story.

Every year, my dear husband tries to encourage Scooby's other mom to share a bit of the weekend with me and his grandmas here. Sometimes, for what ever reason, she does and sometimes she chooses not to. This year, she chose not to. She planned to have him Friday through Sunday evening. The result is that I dropped him off to her right after school and he came home just in time to go to bed.

BUT... and this is another big but, I chose not to feel down about this. These are my reasons.
#1-I get to spend way more time with him than she does; what is one more day in her regular weekend routine, right?
#2-She doesn't cause nearly as big of a stick as she used to; she says "thanks" when I bring him to her and she doesn't sit and though a massive "that women isn't his mother, I am!" tantrum barely out of Scooby's ear shot. I have a friend that is in a similar situation as me that had this happen to her this year on Mother's Day. By the way, all you biological mom's out there, that freak-out never makes you look good, to anyone, not even your poor baby that is stuck in the middle.
#3-He gave his beautiful hand-made gift he made at school to me. This is a big one to me. That means that while they spend hours at school writing poems and drawing pictures, he was thinking of me. Maybe it's the selfish part of me that needs to feel validated but that's how I feel. And on the way to drop him off he pulled it out of his backpack all wrapped up in my favorite colors that he picked out. I'm proud of that gift. Love that boy!

Overall, it was a fantastic Mother's Day, the only thing that could have made it better was having Scooby with us.

There's always tomorrow

Many times I feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities. As an at-home-mom, they range from playing with the kids to maintaining the cleanliness of the house. Including many unpleasantries like potty training and home work. One of my least favorite things, grocery shopping and cooking meals. Every thing I do is rarely noticed unless I don't do it. Only a few of the tasks that I perform are ever completed. Some things like laundry and dishes are NEVER finished. It can be very frustrating to do these things over and over and over making very little progress. It took me quite a while to fall into these responsibilities without everything in me screaming at me, "What is the point!! Who cares if I do it or not!! No one will notice if it gets done!!!" But the truth is, I notice. I want them done and I feel better, and happier, when they are done.

Some days I don't have the drive or energy to do them. Other days, I have lots of energy, I would just rather play with my kids in the sunshine or work on my newest wreath. What ever the reason of the day is, I try to maximize the days I do feel motivated to get stuff done and then piddle through the less motivated days. Then when the days that I piddle come around and I feel like sitting on the couch and watching Disney movies with my kids, I don't feel quite so guilty.

All my chores will always be here tomorrow. But my kids are going to grow up all too fast and I don't want to regret not taking a day off to spend it with them doing what ever we want. So I tell my self, "my dishes can wait til tomorrow" and oddly enough they always do. Someday, I hope they get bored of waiting and put themselves in the dishwasher. Until then... There's always tomorrow.