Stair-mom

Some where along the line, the prefix "step" became a bit derogatory. I'm not sure how that happened. Maybe it was the Wicked Step-mother from Cinderella. But here, in the 21st century, there are so many mixed families that almost every one has some sort of step-someone. So why does it sound wrong to refer to people as a step-parent or sibling? I was talking about this with my own step-dad a while ago, and he decided that he didn't want to call me his "step-daughter" but instead he would call me his "stair-daughter."

And so that's what I am too, a "stair-mom." Maybe I'm in denial of the truth.

A quick little story:

One day, I picked Scooby up from school, he climbed in the car and we did our usual "how was your day" routine. Then he asks me, "Are you my real mom?"
I'm not stupid. I know exactly what he is asking me but I have some rather big opinions on what a REAL mom is. I know he was asking if I birthed him. I didn't, but I did just about everything else and have had a massive part in raising him thus far. In fact, I dare say a larger part than his so called, "real mom" did. So I reply, "Well, you weren't in my tummy and I didn't give birth to you," then I add with a possibly over the top bright tone, "but you have two moms... isn't that wonderful?! You are so lucky!"
He gets this puzzled look on his face and asks me again."Yeah, but are you my REAL mom?"
What could I do here. He is a smart boy and has always fingered out the difference between her and me in his own way that makes sense to him. By this point in our conversation, I'm getting a bit frustrated that this feels so complicated. I guess what frustrates me is that I don't feel I can answer the question with a simple yes or no because in so many ways I feel like his REAL mom. So I say again, just like before, "You weren't in my tummy and I didn't give birth to you, but you have two moms... isn't that wonderful?! You are so lucky!"
Maybe the look on his face was just him being sick of my super cheesey tone but I interpret it as the wheels in his head turning and I know that he will have this jumbled mess of titles all figured out in no time.

By the way he did figure it out. I'm not sure exactly when it all came together for him, but it did. So I tell my self that makes it a happy ending.

The point is, does it really matter if these poor little guys that are stuck in the middle of parents and step-parents understand perfectly who is their birth parent and who married into being their parent? I say no.  They figure it out eventually. How lucky are they that they have so many people that are concerned about their well being and happiness. Even though I would never go to the mall with Scooby's other mom for a girl's afternoon, I can appreciate that she loves him and wants good things for him and I hope she can say the same about me.